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From Beatrice in Beaumont


A government bureaucrat from the Department of Labor was recently in Texas auditing the payroll records of a small business.

Speaking to the owner of the business, the bureaucrat said, “We take our fair wage laws very serious at the D.O.L.  I want to talk to all of your employees.  I need to make sure that each is earning a fair wage according to what the government thinks is fair.”

The business owner said, “Well, I only have three employees.”

The bureaucrat asked, “Who are they, what do they do, and how much do they make?”

The business owner replied, “Well, that’s Bob over there.  He works 40 hours per week running that drill press.  I pay him $600 per week, plus health insurance, plus room and board.”

“Alright,” said the bureaucrat.  “Keep going.”

The business owner continued, “Okay.  That is Betsy.  She works 40 hours per week keeping my books and paying the bills.  I pay her $600 per week, plus health insurance, plus room and board.”

“Got it.” said the bureaucrat.  “What about the third employee?”

The owner said, “Well, the third guy works about 80 hours per week.  He only earns about $100 per week, no benefits, and I buy him a bottle of bourbon on Saturday nights.”

“That sounds like some big fines to me!” the bureaucrat said, getting excited.  “That is the guy I want to talk to!”

“You are talking to him.” replied the owner.  “That third guy is me!”