I will share them with the tribe…
From Matt in Massachusetts…
A salesman dies and goes to Heaven.
He is welcomed through the pearly gates by St. Peter, who asks him, “Would you like a tour of the facilities?”
“I sure would!” replied the man.
St. Peter shows him the streets of gold, the wonderful buffet lines and many beautiful sights.
The two enter a building, and in one of the rooms there were many clocks surrounding him.
The salesman asks, “What are these clocks for?”
St. Peter replies, “These are lie clocks, they tick once for every lie you tell”.
He continued, “Here we have Reverend Billy Graham’s clock. He has only lied once, so the clock has only clicked once”.
“Really?” replied the salesman.
Noticing his wife’s clock moving only slowly, the salesman asked, “Is that the clock for my wife, Judy?”
“Yes” replied St. Peter. She doesn’t lie very often either.
“Where is the clock for my sales manager, Andy?” asked the salesman. “I don’t see it.”
St. Peter looked down and replied, “Oh, Jesus has Andy’s clock in his office. He uses it for a ceiling fan.”